My Relationship with Yui was Wrong
by Kurogyo
Summary: Explores the relationship between Hachiman and Yui.
1. Chapter 1

Like epidemics on a Black Plague scale, there comes a time when statements and ideas of pure inanity spread through society. These statements and ideas spread so quickly, and so thoroughly that they are nigh impossible to avoid. Luckily, I have devised a defence befitting an epidemic of a Black Plague scale: isolation.

Unfortunately, the biggest issues with isolation is that it is very, very hard to maintain.

"Yahello! Hikki."

With fear befitting one facing the Black Death (ok, maybe that is an exaggeration), I turned towards the person who had spoken that extremely annoying greeting, Yui.

"Yo."

"Let's get going. The restaurant isn't very far from here."

We made our way towards the restaurant and soon arrived at our destination.

"Wh-what is this?" I said under my breath.

Sure enough, the restaurant was close. To tell the truth, I would have prefered it if it were further away. In fact, it would be best if it was so far away that it would get late and we would have to go home before reaching it.

It was a quaint little cafe with a focus on outdoor seating. But the thing that really stood out was what most of the patrons had in common, they were couples. Couples fawning over each other and being all lovey dovey- and seriously, get a room! Some of us aren't so lucky!

Maybe if I took the lead, I could get us a table on the edge- but dang it! Yui had already chosen a table, right in the middle of all those couples.

With much reluctance, I took the seat across from Yui.

"This place is really cute. I heard about this place, and always wanted to go."

"Why didn't you?"

"Well, I never had anyone to bring with me."

"You have friends, don't you?"

"Hikki..."

The waitress arrived. After some time quickly browsing the menu, and Yui apologizing, explaining that we had never been here before, we had placed our orders.

Being here with a girl, eating at a place that gives off some serious "date spot" vibes, many people would instantly think "She totally likes me!" Ha! I know better. Let me consider a past experience:

Middle School. A girl asks me if we want to get some drinks from a school vendor. We arrive.

"So, this is like a date right?

"Ahhh, no..."

The curtain falls.

Needless to say she never asked me that again. In fact, I remember her avoiding me from that point on.

In short time, our food arrived.

As we eat, Yui was being her usual chatty self. I responded as required, and our conversation moved along without actually accomplishing anything. It always amazed me how even huge amounts of my time spent socializing like this (forced, mind you), always resulted in absolutely nothing happening. That actually might be my fault now that I think of it..

But there was another problem at work. Yui seems to be slightly nervous. I would lie if I said I had no interest in why she was nervous. It peaked my interest, to some degree. But I didn't have any real desire to actually discover the reason. Too much work.

Unfortunately, from that arose a third problem. That lovey dovey'ess is the air, mixed in with Yui's mild nervousness, formed a truly suffocating aura.

And this presented to me the problem with eating out with others: you can't speed eat, or rather, it is pointless. Now let me explain, speed eating is a technique I have perfected over the years. There is many a time when I am placed in a bothersome circumstance, due to an obligation or some such thing. The thing that is common with these circumstances is that you "stay until you finish eating." The idea behind speed eating is that you get something that can be eaten fast, finish it quickly, and then excuse yourself. But when you are eating out with others, you are obliged to stay until everyone is finished eating. This is especially true for 1 on 1's.

But I feel I might not be getting my point across. To put it simply, I want to get the hell out of this place.

Of course, just as all good things come to an end, all bad thing must also eventually come to an end.

Having finished our food and payed the bill, we were now heading back home.

"That was a cute place."

"Sure... heh"

We had walked some distance, me following close behind Yui, when we found ourselves in a less traveled part of town. It was an "off" hour and, as a result, we found ourselves entirely alone.

It was here that she suddenly stopped and turned around to face me, a determined look in her eyes.

"Hikki."

Her sight was ever so slightly downcast. Her smile seemed brighter than usual, but at the same time, betrayed a sense of worry.

"We need to get going." I said, walking past her.

"Wait!"

I stopped and turned to face her.

"You see Hiki, I have been watching you for awhile now. I like how you're always true to yourself. You always say what's on your mind. You don't let others decide how you live. You stand strong. Your fun to be with."

"Heh, the way you're talking, an idiot might think you were confessing to him. Good thing I'm smarter than that."

Yui's expression suddenly darkened. Her face became even more downcast and the smile vanished.

"Why...?"

"Why?" I repeated the question.

She raised her head, revealing eyes that were starting to water up. Her jaw tightened.

"Your such a jerk!"

With that she walked away with a hastened pace.

I watched her go for a few moments. Then I let out a sigh, and started making my own way home.

I have learned, time and time again, that love is easily mistaken. This is especially true for someone who is lonely. A single smile from a girl sends my thoughts running. "Does she like me?" "Should I ask her out?" Though I hate to admit it, these thoughts still plague me. I have to continually caution myself: "I am just imagining things." "There is no way she likes me." I just need to remember my past, and the pain that comes when I let my guard down.

Of course, with Yui, there is the chance that she actually likes me... but there is also the chance that I am just imagining things.

And even if she did like me...

I made the right choice. Given the chance to repeat that moment, I wouldn't do anything different. I made the right choice.


	2. Chapter 2

I stepped into the club room and quickly scanned the room. It had been a couple of days since we went out to eat, and once again, no Yui. The only other resident was Yukino in her usual spot, reading a book.

Taking a seat, I brought out my own book and started reading. But I had scarcely finished a paragraph before I found myself being rudely interrupted.

"I knew you were low, but I never realized you were this much of a vile creature."

"Hay, hay! Where did that come from? What did I do to deserve that?"

Ignoring me, she continued. "Do you really care so little for Yui?"

Crap, she knew.

"I don't see why I should."

She sighed. "I would expect someone with as perverse a mind as yours would at least be attracted in her on a physical level."

"I don't see how my per- how my state of mind has anything to do with this."

"Hmm, perhaps you are right. I should have referred to your perverse nature."

I failed to see any real difference between the two. And damn it! She's starting to tick me off.

After a short pause, Yukino resumed.

"What is Yui to you?"

"A fellow classmate and club member."

"And what are you to Yui?"

The question caught me off guard. "A... fellow classmate and club member?"

"Are you sure?"

"What does it matter?"

She gave me a look that made me feel like the scum of society.

"You are always talking so highly of yourself, but in truth you're just a spineless coward who lies to himself."

With that she reopened her book, and resumed reading from it.

Seriously, what was that for? What did she care? And man, that was a short conversation.

Well anyways, I'm sorry to inform you little lady, but you aren't as smart as you think you are.

A coward you say. True, cowards get a bad wrap in society. But consider this: when a hero dies to provide a better future, who enjoys that future? Those who survives. And who survives? The coward. All the rewards, without any of the work. Suits me just fine.

As for lying to myself, I can assure you that that isn't the case. I am too conscious, too sensitive, too intuitive of my feelings to be able to lie to myself about them. The best I can do is push them to the side, ignore them.

Yes, thats right... I realized it from the start: that the reason I was cold towards Yui wasn't entirely because I doubted her feelings.

The truth is, I am a coward.

If I tried opening up to another human being, what would happen then? Time and time again, I tried. And time and time again, I only got hurt.

Let me be clear, I am not trying to obtain pitty. No, there is nothing to pity! Though one might doubt this, I honestly don't regret anything. I have become stronger as a result. And I have learned to live with the pain.

But, let me be honest with myself, it still hurts. No matter how strong I am, no matter how good I am at burying my feelings, the fact is, it still hurts. I am too conscious, too sensitive, too intuitive.

And I am a coward.


	3. Chapter 3

It was the next day, and once again Yui was absent from the club room. I had just exited the school building and was now crossing the schoolyard.

"Hikki."

I turned towards the voice and found Yui standing there.

"Can I have a moment of your time?

I nodded in the affirmative.

She led me to an area of the school that was deserted.

In this place where me and Yui were the only ones around, my mind did a little thing of imaging that we were like Adam and Eve of a new world. But I shot down that train of thinking as quickly as it had appeared. I mean seriously, I thought these types of situations only ever happened in rom-coms and eroge.

"Hikki, I want to discuss our relationship."

The tone of her voice indicated that she was serious, and would stubbornly reject any excuses I tried. Whatever, I was still going to try.

"We're just fellow club members, right?"

Her eyebrows positioned themselves in the formation of "V," while her mouth took on a shape similar to that of an upside "U." On a side note, the "(" emotion is actually a pretty accurate representation of human expression.

"Hikki!"

Between the expression on her face, and the stern tone with which she just addressed me, it was quite obvious that my previous observation was correct. Guess I can try to wait this out.

Silence.

"Fine, if you're going to be like that, I will take the first step."

Her expression softened. She looked down at the ground as she held a clenched fist to her chest.

After a short pause, she shot her head up, and with eyes illuminated with that determination of hers, she began to speak.

"I was telling the truth the other day. During my time spent with you in the club, I have been watching you. You're anti-social, you look at the worst in people, sometimes you can be mean.

But at the same time, you're so strong. You choose for yourself who you are, and you don't let other people decide your fate. Your intuitive, you know how to help others, and you're kind, even if you show that kindness is weird ways. And I've found that while I've been watching you... somewhere along the way... I have found that I have started to really like you."

I was caught completely off guard. My heart rate increased as my face and cheeks started to gather warmth.

And I suddenly found myself gripped with fear.

Silence.

"Hungggnn! That's a nice little speech you made there."

That's right...

"I'm sure you what you were expecting next was for me to suddenly hug you and reveal I actually liked you to."

I am a coward.

"It would have made for a great youth romantic comedy plot. But that's just the thing. All your looking for is that illusion of an ideal romance."

And that's a good thing. Heroes are the ones who get hurt.

"You don't really care about my feelings. I am just the ideal guy for the part. 'I mean surely a lonely guy would never reject such an offer' is what you were thinking, right?"

And why would I let myself get hurt?

"I'm sure you could find someone better for your script. But leave me out of it."

This is the right thing to do.

"Goodbye, Yui."

With that I walked past Yui without even a second glance. I had made up my mind, and nothing could change it.

"Hikki...!"

Long, filled with sincerity and passion, that yell, that indomitable will, gripped me in place.

"Liar! That's all you do. Why can you never be sincere to others or yourself..."

Sorry, but I am being completely sincere with myself. I truly am a-

"I want to see it again... your smile."

My smile...? That's right. I have been smiling lately. I thought I never smiled. But I...

Ahh... now I understand.

I had perfected a balance in my life. I was never truly happy, but at the same time, I was never truly sad. It was how I dealt with my loneliness. Let me be clear, I don't regret living that way. It might not have been ideal, but there is no such thing as an idea way of living. That was just the way I choose to live with my life, and I don't regret it one bit. But, as a result, I never really smiled.

But now, for the first time since I can remember, I have found myself smiling quite often. And I find that I have been... happy.

And now, I can see it, the reason I have been smiling and the source of this happiness I have been experiencing. For the first time in my life, I have people I can truly call...

Ha, perhaps I am an idiot. Or perhaps I really have been deceiving myself. But that is irrelevant now.

What is important right now is that something has been made painfully clear to me: my relationship with Yui was wrong, as I now realize.

I turned towards her.

"I'm sorry."

"Ow, ow, don't worry. I was kinda putting you in an odd position..."

Her voice trailed off.

"Yui."

"Y-yes?"

"Now now... but maybe sometime in the future... would you be mind if I would take you out, as repayment for that other day?"

Like the rising sun, her face suddenly started glowing. She leaned forward ever so slightly and gave me an irresistibly cute look.

"Just name a time and place."


End file.
